I have a problem. My MacBook Pro is about to undergo a quintuple bypass, and I may not see it revived till Sunday. So in order to see the final result, you might have to tune in (browse in? drop by? what’s the correct thing to say?) on Monday.

Till then, feast your eyes on this luxurious growth:

If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.

Here it is, slightly enlarged, for your edification and delectation.

If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.

Not long to go now. Thank you to all my sponsor donators.

If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.

Right, rant over, and the cheating Andrew Hore has rightly been cited. I should think a lifetime ban at the very least.

Delighted Sebastian Vettel won his third World F1 Championship in a row.  I’m fed up with supporting losing teams and drivers so in the future I’m 100% behind Vettel.

Did you know Vettel means ‘sly, sneaky old woman’ in German? Not many people know that.

Von’s camera work is getting worse. But she has a lot on her mind at the moment.

If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.

First of all, I want to cite ANDREW HORE, the hooker for the New Zealand rugby team, as a cowardly, cheating, sneaky, dirty, foul, craven, yellow-bellied sissy. In the first minute of the Wales — New Zealand game today he slunk up unnoticed behind the back of Wales lock Bradley Davies, who was stationary and well away from the ball, hooked him round the neck and dragged him to the ground, where he then kneed him in the head. Davies was helped off the field and taken to hospital. He didn’t know what — or who — had hit him. Or, perhaps most importantly, why?

Pathetic. Another illustrious addition to the New Zealand Cheating Hall of Fame.

New Zealand has the best rugby team in the world. They play the fastest, hardest, most imaginative rugby. It can sometimes verge on the sublime. Yet in every game they cheat. They can’t help it. They can be leading 50 – 0 and one of their number will try to gouge out the eye of an opposing forward. A sly kidney punch here. A deliberate stamp on an ankle there. It’s incessant.

The biggest threat to the New Zealand rugby team on the 2005 British Lions tour was the inspirational and brilliant captain, Brian O’Driscoll. So in the first minute of the first game O’Driscoll was lifted up by New Zealand cheats TANA UMAGA and KEVEN MEALAMU, flipped upside-down and thrown head-first vertically into the ground, hard enough to break his neck — the notorious, dangerous and now totally illegal spear tackle.. He’s a tough bloke, O’Driscoll, and in the event he merely dislocated his shoulder. He was out of rugby for seven months though, and the Lions had lost their great leader. Job done, New Zealand. You can be proud of yourselves.

And don’t get me started on ANDY HADEN and FRANK OLIVER.

OK, a lot of these young men aren’t very bright and for today they live and breathe rugby. But when their playing days are over, so will they be. They live stupid, violent lives now and when their careers finish they’ll sink into alcoholism and depression, they’ll beat their wives, kick their dogs and snarl at strangers passing their shacks. HORE has already been convicted of shooting seals illegally, so you can tell what kind of person he is. But they’ll be able to treasure their dim memories of ‘the day I stuck it to that Welsh / Irish bastard.’

Here’s the moustache today. Can you see it bristling with indignation?

If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.

This moustache thingy is now visible in the evening. I’ve raised £595, so I think I can now safely reveal my target, which was £500. Thanks you everyone! I’ll be naming you all in my final Movember blog, which will probably come in December as Damien will be eviscerating Enola Gay (my MacBook Pro) next Thursday and Friday and so I will be offline.

There’s nothing sadder — or more irritating — than a slow Mac. I am fed up with spending half my day watching The Spinning Pizza Of Death, so I am being treated to a completely fresh install. And yes, I have backed up. But there are never any guarantees.

If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.

Spot-free perfection once again, thanks to Photoshop.

There is an actual moustache here. You can see it in bright sunlight, if you’re standing at an angle, but otherwise it’s hard to spot. This is because, uniquely among homo sapiens, I have flesh-coloured hair.

If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.

Many people ask me how come I’m so devastatingly handsome. The usual answer is Photoshop, but today I have a confession to make — this image, although transmitted to your eyes through the (absurdly expensive) means of Photoshop CS6, has not been altered in any way.

This is how you get to see the annoying spot under my right nostril (my left, your right) which I am convinced has been caused by this lousy moustache — not literally, you understand. If it gets any larger, it’s going to be Photoshopped out tomorrow.

Porridge for breakfast this morning. Can you see?

If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.

Two-thirds of the way there!

But it’s going to be a massive disappointment — OK, OK, a barely visible disappointment — to everyone who has kindly donated funds to Mr Hairless. We have raised £595 so far, and I have every confidence we will top the £600 mark. Thank you once again to everyone — I think I’ve thanked everyone who has contributed so far? If you haven’t heard from me, please remind me PDQ.

If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.

You can see the annoyance in this increasingly grubby looking moustache. Some photographer has sent us 5,000 images to upload to fotoLibra and he didn’t bother to read the Submission Guidelines. We demand images at 300 ppi, and all his are at 72 ppi. We can’t upload them. They have to be converted to 300 ppi (and this is why).

So do we send them back? No. Can’t be shagged. I can batch convert them using the Automate function in Photoshop, and leave it to run overnight.

Until I get this cheery little message: “Could not save 1-3669.jpg because an unexpected end-of-file was encountered.” This pops up every 5 minutes. So I can’t leave it to run all night. I have to stay and keep an eye on it.

Bloody members. It’s enough to turn a man’s moustache white.

If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.