Big Units Of Measurement
When we talk about parcels of land we measure them by acres in Britain and hectares in metric countries. But as none of us has any idea how big an acre is, let alone an hectare, we fall back on a more familiar concept of size — the football pitch.
Acres are as symbolic and as incomprehensible as millions and billions. Everyone who owns a house in London nowadays is a millionaire; billionaires are increasingly common (in both senses of the word) but when you read of a minor Tory MP who owns 2,000 acres of Berkshire you know you are reading about someone who is seriously rich.
A football pitch is 7,140 square metres. That’s 1.76 acres. Bigger than I would have thought, frankly. So our Tory MP could fit 113.6 football pitches on his little hideaway on the outskirts of London. It’s 1/2500th the size of Wales.
If we’re talking about very large areas, 100,000 acres would be meaningless. So we describe, say, a desert as being “the size of Wales.”
Wales could hold 116,203 Tory MPs’ estates. That’s nearly 3 million football pitches.
“Four times the size of Wales.” “Ten times the size of Wales.” It seems to have become a basic universal unit of measurement. I understand the governor of Hebei province in China routinely opens his conversations with “I am Governor of a province nine times the size of Wales.”
The time has come to standardise and formalise this measurement. As it happens, the area of Wales is 20,779 square kilometres but if it was ironed flat it would be larger than England, and therefore one assumes would be able to accommodate many more football pitches.
But never mind, let’s keep the lumpy bits and just slice off 779 square kilometres occupied by all those retirees from Birmingham, Bicester and Stockport and call it a round 20,000 km2. Therefore One Wales = 20,000 square kilometres.
There. An entirely new, and supremely useful, Unit Of Measurement. Look at some examples:
Singapore = 0.035 Wales
Rhode Island = 0.14 Wales
Hawai’i = 0.83 Wales
New Jersey = 1 Wales
Israel = 1 Wales
Scotland = 3.91 Wales
England = 6.51 Wales
New Zealand = 13.4 Wales
France = 27.58 Wales
Texas = 34.81 Wales
The Sahara Desert = 470 Wales
Now you can really visualise the size of the places you read about or live in. What fun, eh?
It really depends where these Wales are. The Sahara may be worth 470 Wales but I would much rather have one Wales in Wales than 470 of them in the Sahara.
In my youth I had an acquaintance who I suspected was rich. He simply did not get on with his father, who I suspected was very rich indeed. When his father died I offered perfunctory condolences, which he brushed away with a wave of the hand, so thus emboldened, I asked him what his father had left him in his will.
“He left me 68 acres.”
“Well that’s not a great deal, is it?”
“Ah no, dear boy, but these 68 acres start at Marble Arch.”
January 7th, 2016 at 16:03
This is a great idea. We should measure land area in Wales. And we should measure the weight of things in Whales! The only problem, though, is that whales vary enormously in weight depending on what KIND of whale you’re talking about. A “blue whale” actually weighs the same as 140 “Beluga whales”. When I solve this problem and come up with an answer, I will write a blog post about it and link to yours. Meanwhile, I yield to your notion that we call the unit of measurement a “Wales” rather than a “New Jersey”. Or an “Israel”.
January 7th, 2016 at 16:27
There might be some homophonic confusion wth your proposal. No wonder New Zealand keeps beating us at rugby. It’s as big as 13 Wales.
January 7th, 2016 at 17:04
Gwyn – you need to sort out your stops and commas.
Two thousand acres = 113.636 football pitches, not 113,636.
One acre = 4047 sq metres (rounded up). Wales (at 20,000 km2) = 4,942,000 acres. Your 3m football pitches for Wales is about right but the Tory MP will only have 114, not 113,636 and thus .00004% the size of Wales, not .0004%.
(I think …)
January 7th, 2016 at 17:13
I just come up with the ideas. My people will sort out the details later when it becomes law.
All right Cameron, you win. I should have spotted that comma. I have corrected the data to fit. Thank you! But I hope you agree the basic premise is valid? So Surrey is 0.08315 of a Wales, right?
January 7th, 2016 at 18:04
I dunno old chap, my parents garden is half an acre, so an acre is two back gardens.
Great post Gwyn 🙂
January 7th, 2016 at 18:24
I’ve said enough! SCRAM are playing at Chelsea Arts Club Saturday week if you’ve nothing better to do. Chelsea Arts Club is about a millionth the size of Wales I imagine …