Not of the UK, obviously, that’s beyond even my awesome powers.

But Pakistan, now that would have been a doddle.

The Panama Papers revealed that three of former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif’s children were listed as beneficiaries for three offshore companies registered in the British Virgin Islands.

The documents showed these BVI companies were involved in a 2007 loan of $13.8m, using Sharif-owned properties in the UK as collateral.

Sharif was trying to claim that neither he nor his family profited from his political position. His daughter and heir apparent Maryam Nawaz produced documents dating from 2006 that proved her father’s innocence.

Unfortunately what these naughty people did was to have the documents set in Calibri, a font that wasn’t available until 2007. The designer of Calibri, Lucas De Groot, said that there was ‘absolutely zero chance’ that the Sharif documents weren’t forgeries.

While the clan Sharif were preparing their fraudulent defence all they needed to have done was to have checked my 2005 tome The Encyclopaedia of Fonts. In it they would not have found Calibri — because it didn’t exist at the time.

These paragons of politics invested their tax-haven loot in one of the safest havens known to mankind: empty apartments in Kensington & Chelsea. Thinking of the homeless from the Grenfell hecatomb, one word springs to mind — Requisition.

And the sooner the better.

Nevertheless it makes me laugh to know that Pakistan is now Sans Sharif, ho ho ho.

Calibri compared to Arial and Helvetica

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