I took Milo the hound down the Parkland Walk this morning and for a change he was surprisingly cooperative and amenable, probably out of sympathy with the terrible manflu which laid me out nearly the entire weekend.

He trotted back, devoured his breakfast, checked out the cats’ bowls and then wanted to go out into the garden. But I couldn’t find the key to the back door bolts.

Now if you’ve tried explaining to a dog that he can’t go out because you can’t find the key, you’ll know the attention span and the patience are about as short as my temper when I lose my keys. We were standing there barking at each other. Von came down and hunted around but she couldn’t find it either. Did we have a spare? Of course not.

But a pair of thin-nosed pliers might do the trick, and allow poor Milo to uncross his legs. Did we have a pair? Of course not. So off I went to Bishop’s in Crouch End. Closed until January 5. There’s always Patels at the bottom of Ferme Park Road. Shuttered. I go back to pick up the car and DRIVE! (in London!!) to Homebase. No bolt keys, but they can sell me a pair of thin-nosed pliers for a mere £11.49.

No thanks. As I walk out I spot 4 cheap pliers in a pack for £11.49, four for the price of one. I know, I know, you get what you pay for, but I only needed them for one job.

As I walked back to the car I found a locksmith in Green Lanes just by the railway bridge. I went in, described the problem and he slapped the key I needed on the counter. £3. Brilliant.

And it worked. Unlike the thin-nosed pliers. You get what you pay for. So after an hour and forty minutes I got the back door open and finally managed to start work.

When I went to make coffee a little later, I glanced out of the window and there was the missing key in the middle of the lawn.

Milo?

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