Even Schumacher couldn’t win everything.

As a relative newcomer, he inexplicably came in second in the 1994 Spanish Grand Prix.

When asked the reason for his failure to win, he explained he’d been stuck in fifth gear for the last 50 laps.

The same has just happened to me.

Driving from Harlech to London in Yvonne’s 10 year old MGF, I came thundering over the Craig-y-Bwlch pass into Dinas Mawddwy and on the long straight running down into the village I slotted neatly into fifth.

At least, I did; but the car didn’t. It stayed resolutely in fourth gear.

At the Mallwyd roundabout (the Brigands Inn, if you’re thirsty) I dropped down into second. The MG preferred fourth.

So I slowed right down and picked first. Got fourth.

Hmmm.

I stirred the gear stick around. It was like waving a wand, but magically it only selected fourth gear.

Not only that, but I couldn’t get neutral. This was going to be a problem. The road from Harlech (A496, A470, A458) to Shrewsbury goes up, down, in, out, and round about. It takes about an hour and a half if the traffic’s light, but you do need to use as many gears as the car’s got.

Icicle Corner (properly Llidiart y Barwn, a hairpin bridge over the Afon Clywedog) is a first or second gear bend, and with the temperature at 27°F it had to be treated with respect. I pottered through it in fourth. The car coped superbly.

Why it’s called Icicle Corner

It seems strange to praise a car which had just deposited its raison d’etre on a Welsh mountainside, but the flexibility and pliancy of the MG’s engine impressed me. I felt I might just avoid having to trouble Britannia Rescue.

And so it proved. Once I reached Shrewsbury and negotiated the five roundabouts on the bypass, it was motorway all the way. No difficulty about staying in fourth. The next problem would be London.

Someone was smiling on me, because when I got to London every light was green. I took a long route round to Mount View Road to avoid as many of the sleeping policemen as I could, but of course it’s impossible, as Islington and Haringey have split their massive budgets between Icelandic banks and destroying MGs and other low-slung motor cars.

I can’t help thinking that the proliferation of these speed humps in London in probably the cause of the MG’s failure. It is impossible to avoid noisily grounding the car on them, whatever speed you travel at. On the other hand, the Citroën barely notices them. How do I prove it?

As I pulled up to the house, a car moved out of a double length parking space right outside. I could drive in without reversing (no reverse gear, of course.)

What a clever little car. What a lucky driver. Over 200 miles stuck in fourth gear.

That’s further than Herr Schumacher’s 50 laps.

This post is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.