19 years ago Norman Tebbit proposed the “Tebbit Test”, to see if British people from ethnic minorities supported the England cricket team or the team from their country of origin. He proposed this as a test of whether they were truly British.

Well, from the vociferous and partisan support being meted out to the Pakistani, Indian, Bangladeshi and Sri Lankan cricket teams during the current World Twenty20 series, the teams either have fantastically rich fans who can afford to travel the world and go to every match, or they’re Brits who spectacularly fail the Tebbit Test.

Being Welsh, I support Wales unconditionally. But there isn’t a national Welsh cricket team; it is incorporated in the England cricket team under the auspices of the England AND WALES Cricket Board. So I support England, but perhaps not as unconditionally as I would support a full Wales team. Also being Welsh, I have a strong bias in favour of the underdog, so for example if Wales were to play Germany at rugby I would cheer a German try, while expecting Wales to win by 100 points.

Would I fail the Tebbit Test? No, not really. But out of interest, I thought I would ask myself honestly who I’d support during this series. Here. exclusively, are the results of my cricketing prejudices and bigotry.

England versus Holland. I would support England. Oh, all right, I was thrilled when Holland won. So NETHERLANDS, this once. (Winners: NED)
New Zealand v Scotland. SCOTLAND. (NZL)
India v Bangladesh. INDIA (IND)
West Indies v Australia. WEST INDIES (WIN)
South Africa v Scotland. SCOTLAND (SAF)
England v Pakistan. ENGLAND (ENG)
Ireland v Bangladesh. IRELAND (IRL)
Sri Lanka v Australia. SRI LANKA (SRL)
South Africa v New Zealand. SOUTH AFRICA (SAF)
Pakistan v Holland. HOLLAND (PAK)
Sri Lanka v West Indies. WEST INDIES (WIN)
India v Ireland. IRELAND (IND)
New Zealand v Ireland. IRELAND (NZL)
South Africa v England. ENGLAND (SAF)
Sri Lanka v Pakistan. SRI LANKA (SRL)
West Indies v India. WEST INDIES (WIN)
South Africa v West Indies. WEST INDIES (SAF)
Pakistan v New Zealand. NEW ZEALAND (PAK)
Sri Lanka v Ireland. IRELAND (playing as I write this)
England v India, ENGLAND
West Indies v England. ENGLAND
Ireland v Pakistan. IRELAND
India v South Africa. SOUTH AFRICA
New Zealand v Sri Lanka. SRI LANKA
And we don’t know the lineups after that.

But matches which didn’t take place? Here are a few:
Pakistan v Bangladesh. BANGLADESH
Australia v Pakistan. PAKISTAN
New Zealand v Australia. NEW ZEALAND

Supporting either England or the Underdog, or helplessly giving way to discrimination, “my team” has won nine matches and lost eight.

It’s a shame that Australia have been knocked out of the competition. Beacause I would support ANY team against Australia!

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