Movember Day Twenty-Four
First of all, I want to cite ANDREW HORE, the hooker for the New Zealand rugby team, as a cowardly, cheating, sneaky, dirty, foul, craven, yellow-bellied sissy. In the first minute of the Wales — New Zealand game today he slunk up unnoticed behind the back of Wales lock Bradley Davies, who was stationary and well away from the ball, hooked him round the neck and dragged him to the ground, where he then kneed him in the head. Davies was helped off the field and taken to hospital. He didn’t know what — or who — had hit him. Or, perhaps most importantly, why?
Pathetic. Another illustrious addition to the New Zealand Cheating Hall of Fame.
New Zealand has the best rugby team in the world. They play the fastest, hardest, most imaginative rugby. It can sometimes verge on the sublime. Yet in every game they cheat. They can’t help it. They can be leading 50 – 0 and one of their number will try to gouge out the eye of an opposing forward. A sly kidney punch here. A deliberate stamp on an ankle there. It’s incessant.
The biggest threat to the New Zealand rugby team on the 2005 British Lions tour was the inspirational and brilliant captain, Brian O’Driscoll. So in the first minute of the first game O’Driscoll was lifted up by New Zealand cheats TANA UMAGA and KEVEN MEALAMU, flipped upside-down and thrown head-first vertically into the ground, hard enough to break his neck — the notorious, dangerous and now totally illegal spear tackle.. He’s a tough bloke, O’Driscoll, and in the event he merely dislocated his shoulder. He was out of rugby for seven months though, and the Lions had lost their great leader. Job done, New Zealand. You can be proud of yourselves.
And don’t get me started on ANDY HADEN and FRANK OLIVER.
OK, a lot of these young men aren’t very bright and for today they live and breathe rugby. But when their playing days are over, so will they be. They live stupid, violent lives now and when their careers finish they’ll sink into alcoholism and depression, they’ll beat their wives, kick their dogs and snarl at strangers passing their shacks. HORE has already been convicted of shooting seals illegally, so you can tell what kind of person he is. But they’ll be able to treasure their dim memories of ‘the day I stuck it to that Welsh / Irish bastard.’
Here’s the moustache today. Can you see it bristling with indignation?
If you don’t know what this is all about, The World’s Most Hairless Man (that’s me, Gwyn Headley) is attempting to grow a moustache during November in aid of prostate and testicular cancer charity Movember. If you would care to donate, it’s easy — just go to http://mobro.co/gwynheadley and click on DONATE TO ME under my bald lip. I will be very grateful.
December 1st, 2012 at 17:43
What a load of drivel. You obviously have never been a sportsperson or played any games/sport in your life. I think you seem to know an awful lot about cheating however. The old saying ‘it takes one to know one’ comes to mind.
December 1st, 2012 at 20:06
Where’s the drivel? The cheating, cowardly Andre wHore has been banned for five weeks. And, careful not to cheat today, New Zealand has been well stuffed by England. I don’t often support England Rugby, but today was a joyous day for England supporters. A fabulous performance. Well done.