Seriously, if you’re in London tomorrow and you have an hour or two to spare drop EVERYTHING and get yo’ ass down to Sotheby’s, 34-35 New Bond Street, London W1A 2AA where you will see probably the finest free art exhibition in your LIFE.

They’ve got some major sales coming up, and they are exhibiting the paintings. Tomnorrow is the last day. I can’t begin to tell you how magnificent they are. They also (which is fascinating) give the guide prices for them. There are works by Moholy-Nagy, Arp, Duchamp, Dubuffet, Buffet, Utrillo, Grosz, Matisse, Picasso, Klimt, Kokoshka, Magritte, Riley, Moore, Schiele, Man Ray, Renoir, Monet, Pissarro, Richter, Miro, Emin, Saville, Kandinsky. Klee, Schlemmer, Dali, Schwitters and many, many more. There are six paintings by Utrillo, whom I adore, the cheapest of which was estimated to fetch £30,000, which is a little out of my league.

The star of the show could be said to be Monet’s Palazzo Ducale, a numinous work which made my catch my breath. I caught it a second time when I saw the estimated guide price of £30 million. It’s a stunning picture, but oh, please, Claude — get yo’ fenestration together! Look at the windows on the right! Is that what he really saw, or did he simply lose interest? For £30 mill I’d expect an accurate perspective at the very least. If the new owners get in touch with me after the sale I’d be happy to paint in the corrections for them.

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