It will be one of these three things:

1. Consumables
2. Heirlooms
3. Landfill

Everything you give or get will fall into one of these three categories.

Port, perfume, socks, goose, Xmas pudding — consumables.

Fine art, rubies, Swiss watches, gold bars, signed first editions, antiques — heirlooms.

Anything with a plug on it or made of plastic — landfill.

Who wants a Mac Quadra on their desk today? In 1992 I was gagging for one. If I’d bought the equivalent value of shares in Apple instead, I’d be worth £1,396,000, while almost all the Quadras ever built are now at the bottom of pits.

Of course there will be exceptions! No doubt you’ll tell me about them. I can think of one — my Mont Blanc fountain pen is made of plastic, but I regard it as an heirloom. Heirlooms don’t have to be expensive. I bought it for £29 in 1978 and they now retail for £650.

It’s an edifying game you can play by yourself as you wrap and unwrap your Christmas presents. And it actually makes you think.

What are we doing to our world?